Words

It only takes so long for one to begin to believe the negativity spoken over them. Compliments bring warmth to your cheeks for a moment but quickly fade, while insults mock you for a lifetime. If only it were the other way around, our idea of self-worth would blossom - but instead it withers with every indecent slur. Insecurity isn't something we're born with; as children, we can only see the good in life, the good in people, knowing ourselves as nothing but cheerful smiles and colorful dreams until someone feels the need to tell us we're not worthy - of being happy. Words are corrupt, tearing down our self-esteem piece by piece. In time, the phrase "You're worthless" alters as it melts into the fragile mind as "I'm worthless". Words hurt - we've heard it for as long as we can remember but have we ever really taken time to understand the meaning? Slut, skank, bitch, fag, ugly, fat, anorexic, weirdo, loser, whore... Insults cling, attached to the heart like a snag on your favorite sweater. You can pretend that it's not there all you want but it is and it bothers you. One snag turns into two and two turns into five and five turns into ten until your favorite sweater is so torn and matted that it isn't your favorite sweater anymore. Imagine being backed into a corner with nowhere else to go, stones being thrown carelessly at your body. "That's awful, I would never do that to someone," you say. Well then tell me why you pick on that freshmen that sits alone in the hallway before first bell? He may not look beaten and bruised on the outside but each word you scream his way is a stone being thrown full force, abusing him on the inside, completely tearing him apart, making it harder for him to get out of bed each morning, struggling to breathe, broken - all love for himself is lost. Every scurrilous attack on our integrity provides yet another reason for us to no longer love ourselves. The world would be a much better place if all words were kind words - but they're not and this place will always be cruel.

Silence

I’ll never understand why it has to be so hard - so hard to just tell someone how you truly feel. In all reality, what do we really have to lose? We’re already drowning in torment with bottled up emotions. But yet we all find it impossible to reveal our vulnerability. I suppose it’s simply the natural fear of rejection. But whether your status is silent or rejected, the pain still lingers either way. So why not be bold? Why not take a risk? Being rejected hurts but the knife will soon fall out and the wound will heal in time. But the real damage follows silence - sulking in daydreams, always left wanting more, wishing and hoping. The real pain lies in never knowing what could be but only imagining it. Waiting for something and falling for anything. Gripping on dreams and floating on untold promises. Why do we put ourselves through that? Being silent. Living among the sound of your own voice may seem easier but when that voice begins to lie to you and pull apart the seams of your once perfectly mended heart, it’s time - time to be bold. Take a risk. You never know - maybe your fear of rejection was pointless in the first place.