April 16, 2007 - A cool breeze rushes over my cheeks as I walk home from school. Breathing in the aroma of wet grass and tilting daisies. I open the door - all eyes turn toward my younger brother and I. Why are they looking at me like that? Did I do something wrong? Maybe I forgot to pick up my room this morning. Oh no, I hope she's not mad. My grandmother walks over to me, a small white capsule falls into my palm. "What's this?", I asked. "Just take it," she said. "But why doesn't Patrick get one?" "Just take it," she replied once more. She's motioning us to come back to my room. What's going on? I follow her down the narrow hallway leading to my small bedroom. I sit down on my pretty, pink, fluffy bed next to her and my brother. She's silent. Something's wrong. Staring blankly at my walls of innocence, she swallows, "Do you remember a couple of weeks ago?" I knew exactly what she was referring to, "When your papaw passed away?" she asked, rhetorically. I nodded my head, remembering him lying there, motionless in the casket. My stomach dropped. Her voice trembled as she spoke and her eyes could no longer restrain the strength of her tears. She inhaled deeply, her exhale scattered, "Well your daddy..." The room is consumed in silence. I collapse. I hear absolutely nothing but the sound of my own screams. This can't be happening. Not again. No. She's lying. No. He can't be gone. I cry out, "Daddy!" as my heart shatters into a million little pieces. Memories begin to flash through my head. His smile. His laugh. The warmth of his fatherly embrace. My stomach knots up tightly and my chest feels as if there's no release. I can't breathe. My grandmother tries to hold me but as her tears mix with mine, there's no sign of peace. I can't hear her voice, I can hear nothing but the echoes of my thoughts. I begin to pray. "Please, God. Don't take him away. Please, God, don't. I'll be good, I promise. I'll do anything. You can’t have him. Please God, I need my daddy." I close my eyes until my eyelids can't take the pressure anymore, wishing I was only experiencing a terrible nightmare. My eyelids slowly part as I look through a thick wall of water. But this isn't a dream. My grandmother hugs me, "Shhhh, calm down. It'll be okay." But it's not okay and it will never be okay. I clench my fists and scream. I can feel my heart pounding through my chest like it's trying to escape the pain that's strangling it. My muscles release for a moment, surrendering. It begins to sink in - slowly, painfully. As my fingertips dance across my damp cheeks, as my tongue tastes the bitter kiss of a single tear drop in the crease of my lips, as my heart gives its last breath, I whisper, "Daddy."